I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
