Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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