so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
