stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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