just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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