I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
