maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
