i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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