Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
