so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
