I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
