just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
