we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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