So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
