dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
