I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
this is an emotional support booty call
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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