It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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