Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
