What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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