I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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