shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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