I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
