Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
