question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
