RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
