Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
