Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
