I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
