Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize