Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
