Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
