eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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