Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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