I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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