there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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