is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
