I'll bet she douches with gravy.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
