Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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