i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
