Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
