am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
