How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
