This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
