where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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