Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
