those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
