It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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