i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
