Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
