Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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