She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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